"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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