Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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