theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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