peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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