Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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