Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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