I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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