Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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