you're like a bully in the Christmas story
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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