are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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