Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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