I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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