I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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