Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize