Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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