i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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