is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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