Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize