Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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