he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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