I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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