You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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