why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize