Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
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we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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