Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize