Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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