Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize