there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize