We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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