i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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