barbara walters just said penis...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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