so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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