sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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