go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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