my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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