The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize