I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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