I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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