Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize