Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize