When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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