im about as happy as oj after his trial
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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