There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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