Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize