i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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