That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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