The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She's the barista slut.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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