Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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