I cockslap morals
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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