i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize